Attractive women have it easy

Whenever I see an attractive woman with a successful career, I’ll remember the experience of this blog and assume that she didn’t really get there on merit, just her looks.

The preceding statement that I made in my post about being outed seems to have aroused the ire of some.

In addition to hostile comments left on my blog, Ilyka Damen was inspired to write a post of righteous indignation.

One of the very tricks I used when I was pretending to be Libertarian Girl was to get all angry about slights to my gender. Women do this all the time, and I have to confess it was actually kind of fun to go off and call men sexist misogynists. Unfortunately, one of the things I have not learned about women in the course of pretending to be one is whether this anger is genuine, or is just pretend anger that women use to win arguments.

Regarding Ms. Damen’s specific complaints, they are all summed up in the following quote:

Yes, that's right: Unemployed guy living with mom and pop poses as hot chick and concludes that good-looking women don't "really get there on merit." He would know this, of course, because he has actually been a good-looking woman trying to get ahead. Wait, no he hasn't. He's just pretended to be one and, icing on the cake, apparently wasn't even very bright about it.

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but some people think I did a fabulous job pretending to be a woman. For example, one commenter wrote back in January when I first complained about being accused of not being a girl:

I imagine there might be a couple of guys out there who know a mid-week date for drinks should include dinner, but obviously not many of them. Hardly any would then blog about it from the woman's point of view.

I also imagine there might be a couple of guys faking as girls to get their blogs noticed, but again, that number is pretty small. So the odds of running across a guy, faking as a libertarian girl, writing about subjects that would not cross the male mind has got to be a tiny number. If any. So the odds of running across this person are likewise pretty small. Not to mention the research and thought that would have to be devoted to doing a good job at it.

So either you are the single best guy faking as a girl in the blogosphere, or the simpler and more likely answer is that you are a girl with opinions and can express them well. That guy needs to go with the simple explanation.

I have to confess that I don’t think I have any special knowledge that you can’t obtain from watching Sex In the City, but nevertheless I was flattered by comments like that.

The post that Ms. Damen links to tends to prove my effectiveness at pretending to be a girl. The author of that post is clearly angry about the fact that attractive women have it so much easier than men.

In fact, this reaction was not uncommon, and it surprised me greatly. There were several male bloggers who had an extreme dislike of me which was clearly based on jealousy over how much traffic I was getting compared to them. They realized, maybe only on a subconscious level, that I was benefiting from being an attractive young woman and they couldn’t compete with that.

The more typical reaction was, of course, fawning over me, but the extreme polarity of the two reactions really caught me by surprise. As a man, I go through life mostly being ignored.

So now we finally get to the meat of Ms. Damen’s argument, which is that my conclusion is wrong. But you will notice that instead of explaining why my conclusion is wrong, instead she says I’m wrong because I’m an “unemployed guy living with mom and pop.” It’s ironic indeed that she’s mad at me for making assumptions about women, but she has no problem with making assumptions about my ability to observe and draw conclusions on the basis of my one line biography.

I haven’t really said anything that women haven’t said, except I reversed the genders. Women routinely say that men have an easier time getting ahead. And they say this despite the fact that they have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be a man.

I’m saying the opposite, that attractive women have a much easier time getting ahead than men, and I’ve based my conclusion on actually pretending to be an attractive woman. I would suspect that in the real world, as opposed to the virtual world of the blogosphere, this effect would be even more pronounced.

In the blogosphere male bloggers were more likely to link to me because I was a hot girl (several actually said that in their blogs, “I’m linking to her because she’s hot”) and male readers were more likely to leave comments on my blog for the same reason. Similarly, in the world of non-virtual work, a male hiring manager is more likely to hire an attractive woman, a male client is more likely to purchase from an attractive woman, and a male supervisor is more likely to give a raise to or promote an attractive woman.

Comments

[Zach]

I think people came to your blog because of your insane remark that taxing breasts is 'libertarian', not because of the fact that you were a girl. This remark of yours was posted on several prominent libertarian blogs (LewRockwell, No-Treason), which draw lots of traffic. At least this is how/why I found your blog.

[Redneck Feminist]

LLG, you should know that anecdotal evidence doesn't cut it. I could give you even more anecdotal evidence that says the opposite. One example would be that my professors don't take women, especially blondes, seriously. Another example is that I'm a metal/rock drummer, and am constantly told that metal is a man's world. I have been asked to leave the band-only area because the owner of the bar thought I was a groupie. And other women hate me when I get on stage because they really are just groupies and can't play a damn instrument. A third example I've already used on your blog-- I get catcalled and grabbed at by ugly fatties with back hair. It isn't fun.

Think about what you're saying. The assumptions you make are that the supervisor and hiring manager are male, and the subordinate is female. Who has the power? Let's say the tables turned, and women took over the superior jobs. Do you still think attractive women would have it easy (as you say)?

I did a report about this in high school. Studies found that attractive women were indeed more likely to get hired for first-level jobs. But once attractive women climb the ladder, their attractiveness starts to work against them. That is because cute doesn't cut it at the top. It is assumed that the hot woman is also brain dead. So while being cute can help get your foot in the door, it can also keep you stagnant in your career.

I'm not saying men have it easy. Studies show that only men who are tall, dark-haired, and well-groomed have the best shot at making it to the top. I am more inclined to believe these studies over your anecdote. Enlightened Cavemen wrote about this as well.
http://www.enlightenedcaveman.com/2005/02/appearance-delta-and-gimmick-theory.html#comments

As a side note, I was honestly embarrassed for my gender when you wrote about the breast implant tax. I thought, gosh there's another blonde who knows nothing about economics making the rest of us blondes look bad. I apologize for my sexist thinking. I should have at least been suspiscious that LG was a male. But the fact that I thought you were a stereotypical blonde made me NOT suspiscious. Does that make sense? My apologies to the Russian woman.

[Helen]

I came here by way of Ilyka, whom I think you have done a stunning job of grossly misrepresenting. You think women have it easier in life? Really? Is that what sitting behind a PC and typing up blog posts has taught you? Is that what you have learnt through comments and trackbacks, is that the sole basis of what leads you to think that attractive women have it easier?

Well. Give the man a Ph.D. in Women's Studies, he's cracked the code.

Seriously, man-life is way more than just a blog post. You may think we have it easy, but you'd be so wrong that it makes me tired just thinking about how to start correcting you.

[Tom Hanna]

Redneck Feminist: A Free Market Feminist. Her blondeness sitting behind the drums talking about owning guns and playing metal. Hmmmmm....do you have a student?

[Redneck Feminist]

Tom, I think I'm having a "blonde moment" because I don't understand your question.
~Red

[Jacqueline]

Attractive people of either gender have it easier.

The way people treated me really changed after I lost weight, grew out my hair, and began wearing nicer clothes and makeup.

[Karen]

Jacqueline - AMEN!

Males and females can both coast on good looks.
It also makes a difference if you know you're good looking (and use it to your advantage.) I wonder if the response might have been different if there was no picture on your fake blog?

LLG - you are absolutely right: there is a double standard (men/women, attractive/unattractive). But it cuts both ways. I spent most of my formative years wishing I were a boy (I come from a very traditional culture), but in time, I realized that men and women both have privileges and burdens, they are just different. I also spent most of my young life wishing I were "hot" and had big breasts. That has its downsides, too (people who can't see beyond your looks, and also having chronic back pain.)

If you meant your "attractive women successful not because of merit" comment to be inflammatory, it was certainly a good way to drive more traffic and interest to your blog. If you truly believe it, I would ask that you not generalize so quickly or broadly. Men and women both have flaws and hypocrisies... and virtues.

[Josh Narins]

The actual studies show that Redneck Girl is right.

Attractive women do well getting jobs, but are not treated seriously, and don't rise to the highest positions.

In fact, even in men there is some degree of truth to this.

Blonde men, and light-colored eyed men, do not statistically appear in Corporate Boards as one might expect.

Bah.

[billy-jay]

Josh, that could well be explained by the number of those who come to depend on their looks to get by.

[Steve]

Girls love to play the role of The Victim just as guys love to play the role of Sir Knight-in-Shining-Armour. Better examples of co-dependency are rare.

Feminism is just a stale re-run of The Damsel in Distress.