Why are there no mail order husbands?
Tim Movementarian (who may actually be me), asks:
Regarding mail-order brides, while I have no experience with them, why not start a mail-order groom service?
There are two reasons:
(1) Women don't have problems finding husbands. In younger age groups, there are about 5 single men for every 4 single women in the United States. How is that possible? Serial polygamy contributes to this phenomenon. A 25 year old man marries a 25 year old woman, divorces her at 34, and at 35 he marries another 25 year old woman.
Then there is also actual polygamy. I knew of a guy, who wasn't even that good looking or anything, who had two girlfriends at the same time, and neither knew of the other one's existence. It was almost like a sitcom, but it was real life.
(2) Women are turned off by men who are less economically successful than they are. So a poor man from Russia is a big turn off for the majority of women. Even if he's really good looking. The successful men in Russia no doubt have their pick of hot wives, as evidenced by the Russian brides websites.
Men, on the other hand, don't care if a woman is poor. Men are more likely to be turned off by a woman more successful than themselves.
So this parody blog post is pretty funny, but extremely unlikely.
No wonder this dork can't get laid (with posts like this....)
Posted by: Notadork | February 14, 2005 at 09:15 AM
"No wonder this dork can't get laid (with posts like this....)"
This is the kind of obnoxious comment I get for explaining complex social phenomena.
Most people would rather be blind to the way the world really works if the way it really works is contrary to they way they think it ought to work. When faced with truth they can't counter with logic, they get a case of cognitive dissonance, and the normal reaction is anger at the messenger.
Posted by: Libertarian Girl | February 14, 2005 at 10:41 AM
So when's the last time you were laid? I bet it's been years...if ever. Which proves who has cognitive dissonance here.
Posted by: Notadork | February 14, 2005 at 10:45 AM
Libertarian Girl would get really mad about the sexist double standard implied here.
If a woman get's laid, as seen in the comments to this post, people look down upon her.
But people look down upon a man if he doesn't get laid.
Posted by: Libertarian Girl | February 14, 2005 at 10:54 AM
And let's not forget the outrage shown in the comments to this post when LG wrote, "What girl, at some time or other, hasn't flashed a breast?"
Posted by: Libertarian Girl | February 14, 2005 at 10:57 AM
Dude your analogy on women is way off.....In my travels broke dudes get laid just and have just a many if not more girlfriends than guys making a $hit load of $$$. Women especially women with some cash like to feel that they are helping these guys and saving them. I think it has to do with some sort of mothering instinct. Or maybe the money doesn't matter and the pussy goes to he who has confidence in himself, is able to make a girl laugh and know how to sling some dick!!!!
Posted by: guy in the UNLV jacket | February 14, 2005 at 11:46 AM
I'll give you a case study....... In 2003 some co-workers and I were in at a restaraunt, Gibsons Chop House Downtown Chicago...There was a table of smoking hot chicks 2 tables over form us. My co-worker dudes were like "Man those are some hot chicks there is no way we could get anywhere near them". I replied "bullshit all you need is some confidence and make one of them laugh or feel good about herself and the pussy is all yours." They said whatever. A few minutes later some big football looking dudes were seated at the table between us and the chicks. It turns out the dudes were, a group of Chicago Bears including Brian Urlacher. naturally the chicks go crazy over the buffed out millionares. the bachelorette needed somebody to seranade her for some bachelorette party check list thing they tried the Bears and none of them could sing. They came to our table and my guy Tom the least confident dude in the world sang for them. Come to find out Tom had a deep bartone voice and the chicks ended up partying with us over the Pro football guys. Not bad for a bunch of UNIX and Oracle geeks.....Oh yeah we got the pussy!!!!
Posted by: guy in the UNLV jacket | February 14, 2005 at 11:58 AM
Hey LG, there's an article on my site about this kind of phenomenon...
"One of the common myths about dating is that there's a soulmate out there for everyone. Dating services have made millions promoting the idea that your perfect partner is out there, you just need to try harder to find them. This seems to make sense since there are an equal number of men and women. The reality is that in promiscuous culture, a small percentage of men can monopolize sex with a majority of women. When this happens, the matching up process does not occur, and singles end up floating indefinitely around the dating pool." (www.hookupculture.com)
Posted by: HC | February 14, 2005 at 12:36 PM
I agree 10% of the dudes get 90% of the pussy. In the wolf pack Librian guy would be known as the Omega male...
Posted by: guy in the UNLV jacket | February 14, 2005 at 12:55 PM
Maybe Librarian Guy doesn't score because all the black guys get pussy from affirmative action. Or then again maybe it's just him.
Posted by: Mexigogue | February 14, 2005 at 01:13 PM
Curse those chocolate devils with their extra long schlongs and sexual stamina
Posted by: guy in the UNLV jacket | February 14, 2005 at 02:23 PM
Haven't you ever heard of Alaskan Men? About 10 years ago a magazine published once a month (I think) posted pictures of hundreds of men in Alaska who were looking to get hitched.
A friend of mine was seriously considering it; fortunately, she went on an Alaskan cruise, talked to a female pilot there who then told her: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
Posted by: Lornkanaga | February 15, 2005 at 04:13 PM
LG, you have the same problem you accuse notadork of having. Sure, we ought not to get mad at the messenger. But the truth is that people DO get mad at the messenger when they don't like the message, and THAT is (in part) why you don't get laid.
Posted by: Redneck Feminist | February 15, 2005 at 05:40 PM
Furthermore, LG, your assumptions may be causing you to miss out on a potential market. It used to be assumed that women were not interesting in pornography or sex toys. The female sex shop owners are laughing all the way to the bank on that one.
Posted by: Redneck Feminist | February 15, 2005 at 05:43 PM
My view was always this: quite a few men in the developed world want women who are more traditional (stay-at-home mom, father knows best, dependent on husband/breadwinner.) Meanwhile, women in the developed world see the freedom they can have by being financially and emotionally independent (and without children).
If the men in the developed world aren't liberal enough in their thinking to suit the developed-world women, the women have no place left to shop for hubby.
But if the men want more conservative wives, there is a market in the less-developed world.
A recent feature in The Economist noted that in middle-eastern countries where women have more rights and freedoms, the trend for the men is to seek uneducated wives in poor, remote villages because the urban women are too "independent".
This is just an example of "growing pains" in our society.
Posted by: Karen | February 16, 2005 at 06:35 PM
Oh, and another thing: I've always made out pretty well for myself in the working world. But most of the men I've been in serious relationships with have made less (or a lot less) money than I do. (Less education, fewer assets, etc... All the typical things that make a person "successful".) Money issues of any sort were never the reason why those relationships ended.
"Les chemises de nuit n'ont pas des poches."
Paraphrased: genuine love cannot be bought.
Posted by: Karen | February 16, 2005 at 06:39 PM
http://libertariangirl.typepad.com/my_weblog/2005/03/russian_brides_.html#comments
The paper you link to in this post backs me up nicely. :)
Posted by: Karen | March 10, 2005 at 11:50 AM
This sucks!!! There should be a mail order groom, there are tons of single females looking for a groom... you suck! dont ever e-mail me or anything!!
Posted by: Stefani | August 16, 2005 at 02:01 AM
I dunno about you, but i have always wanted a mail order groom. One from asia. :D i love asian men, and the ones here i don't relate to much. Any sexy asian boy want a green card?
Posted by: Jackie | October 14, 2005 at 08:08 AM
ps, I would prefer a poor man. I don't need a man to support me. I just need love and tenderness from a sweet rice paddy boy
i know youre out there <3 im looking for you
Posted by: Jackie | October 14, 2005 at 08:11 AM
Click on my I.D. and see what I'm peddlin' out there. Sagascend is one fine chocolate piece of A.S.S. ain't she?
Sagascend get down on them knees and suck these yellow dicks toy nasty black bitch you!
Posted by: Sagascend's Pimp | November 16, 2005 at 03:19 PM
Actually, there are slightly more males than females born every year. This is due to the fact that men have greater mortality and shorter lifespans - so the ratio evens out over time.
However, during peacetimes, male mortalities go down and a surplus of young bachelors remains.
Just do the math then and you will find some omega males left odd man out.
Interestingly though, in some groups where young male mortality is high - like African-Americans - the ratio reverses and it's the women who then have a hard time finding suitable mates. So, perhaps there might be a small niche market for mail-order husbands amongst them?
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