Russian brides revisited

implications of russian brides in u.k. That was a Google search that someone used to find my blog, and for which my blog shows up as the very first entry. Unfortunately, the visiting web surfer wouldn’t have found the answer to his query in any of my posts.

But I think it’s a pretty interesting question! And I’m pretty sure the answer is that there are so few Russian brides in the U.K. that they pose no implications outside of the lives of the groom and his immediate circle of family and friends.

Regular immigration surely has much greater implications. I don’t know so much about the U.K., but here in the U.S. I see enough mixed couples in which the man is white and the woman is Asian to suspect that Asian immigration might be having an impact on sexual relations. The beneficiaries are white men, especially the types of white men that Asian women seem to like: educated, introverted, and with stable careers (often in IT).

White women tend to see men with Asian girlfriends or wives as failures who couldn’t cut the mustard with a white woman.

Plugging the same search into Google, I did find an interesting academic paper from 1999 about “mail order” brides on the internet. I discovered that Russian women misrepresent themselves:

As I met the women in Kyrgyzstan it became apparent that some fudging of their biographies and photos had taken place. Most were slightly older then they had listed on the web sites, though only by a couple of years. And while no one I met was overweight by any means, very few of them actually looked as if they spent the energy and time at aerobics and body building that they had claimed on their forms. Most dramatic was the realisation that a closed mouth smile on the Internet site was often a way of hiding the proof of a Soviet dentistry system which favoured gold teeth.

The gold teeth thing is scary.

Comments

[dadahead]

Maybe Libertarian Girl isn't as hot as everybody thought.

[Karen]

Dadahead - LOL!!!!!!!!!!

White women tend to see men with Asian girlfriends or wives as failures who couldn’t cut the mustard with a white woman.

I am horrified to report that I'm an Asian woman with a white boyfriend who is educated, introverted, and employed in IT. I was born in Canada, but my skin is yellow so most people judge by that instead.

The flipside of this is that, being born and raised in a predominantly white society, the standard of male attractiveness I've grown up with was "white". I've always had non-Asian boyfriends. I've never tried to "cut the mustard" with an Asian man - I was just never interested in trying.

Perhaps the perception you are referring to resulted from couples that were together because the man couldn't find another woman to have him, and the woman was in need of someone to support her (an Asian mail-order bride.) Nowadays, a lot of Asian women in mixed-race couples are raking in the money as well as any man could. The Asian culture that values education and jobs in IT also encourages its daughters to be lawyers, doctors, accountants, etc. And some white men simply prefer Asian women - there's an allure or fetish of some kind, for some.

A deeper reason why I've never dated an Asian man might be my distaste for the standard of behaviour Asian women are supposed to live by. Non-Asian men might have expectations based on what they *perceive* Asian women are supposed to be, but those expectations are not as rigorous as the ones Asian men (and their mothers) have. The "white" North American culture accepts more independence from women than the Asian North American culture.

So, the result of more mixed-race couples? More bi-racial or multi-racial children. More cultural integration. And maybe less racism and intolerance. We can only hope.

[bahahah]

An Asian chick who hates her own men and is proud about chasing after white guys talking about less racism and intolerance. That's just rich!

[Karen]

bahahah: the only person to mention the word "hate" is you.

It is racist and intolerant of you to criticise the race of the men I date because they are not my "own men". Do you mean to say that if you have a certain skin colour, you are obligated to only date people of that same skin colour?

Post your argument and I would be happy to discuss it further with you.

[karentheridiculous]

"A deeper reason why I've never dated an Asian man might be my distaste for the standard of behaviour Asian women are supposed to live by."

Just had to comment on this quote. What a load of bullshit.

She's too ashamed to say "I'm brainwashed by the media into thinking white men = potential mates and asian men = unsexy and unattractive." So she invents this lame excuse to justify her behavior.

Fuck whoever you want to fuck. But at least be honest about it. Geesh!

[T'K Chong]

"A deeper reason why I've never dated an Asian man might be my distaste for the standard of behaviour Asian women are supposed to live by."

Let me put in my two cents as well. That woman's assertion is a very stereotypical, hateful view of Asian men. The negative stereotype of all men that belong to a particular racial or ethnic group is, definitively, racism. i.e., "Black men treat women like ho's."

Interestingly enough, the same woman would immediately go on and add...

"So, the result of more mixed-race couples? More bi-racial or multi-racial children. More cultural integration. And maybe less racism and intolerance. We can only hope."

Doublespeak.

Here is something I do not quite understand with Asian women who prefer White men. Do they really have to attack, demonize and vilify Asian men? As an Asian man, I prefer White and Latin women first. However, I am not going to sink to the level to say that I date other women because there is something wrong with Asian women or because Asian women are at fault. Unfortunately, Asian women who prefer White men seem to always have to resort to blaming and attacking Asian men in order to justify themselves. Is that necessary or compulsory?

[Karen]

T'K Chong - I'm speaking about my personal experiences in my own upbringing. I'm more than willing to retract the implication that ALL asian men have the same expectations and demands. I will put forth, then, that MOST of the asian men (and the asian communities) I have had contact with have a standard of behaviour for asian women that is more restrictive than the standard found in most white/Westernized societies.

To the person posting as "karentheridiculous" with the e-mail address "[email protected]": my feelings and attitudes are far more influenced by my personal experiences than by the media. Chinese communities demonstrating the "boys are more valuable than girls" attitude by who gets more parental attention, whose opinions get listened to, what sex of baby is more hoped for, and who gets more privileges extended to them. Again, these are my personal experiences - actual events that you cannot contest. I had enough of automatically getting less respect because I was a girl. Again, this is from interaction with the people around me rather than the media.

This is my last comment on Libertarian Man of Mystery's blog. I've had enough of the name-calling and the profanity. Lib Man-o-Myst: it's been real interesting. T'K Chong, Rick, and "karentheridiculous": as an asian woman I find it interesting that when you, as asian men, disagreed with my comments, you decided to berate me and swear at me rather than pointing out positive examples that disprove what I've asserted. You didn't take the approach of enticing women towards the good things you have to offer - you responded very negatively. I'm sure there are asian men out there who practice equality between the sexes and are attractive men worth dating, but none of you three have shown here that this is true.

[bahahah]

Notice how Karen blurs the line between Asian men and Asian-American men.

To her, they're one and the same. I highly doubt this girl would even give an Asian guy adopted by a white family and raised in Alabama much of a chance.

See, she's just not attracted to Asian guys and is so ashamed of it, she has to create excuses to justify her racial self-hatred.

Have fun breeding your Asian genes out of existence. After all, it's what you've always wanted! ;-)

[T'K Chong]

On March 10, 2005, Karen posted:
"(Karen) being born and raised in a predominantly white society... I've always had non-Asian boyfriends..."

On March 30, 2005, Karen posted:
"I'm speaking about my personal experiences in my own upbringing... that MOST of the asian men (and the asian communities) I have had contact with have a standard of behaviour for asian women that is more restrictive..."

Karen claimed that she was raised in a white community, and that she has never had an Asian boyfriend. Despite that, she did not hesistate to pass her broad (and biased) judgement on Asian communities and Asian men in order to justify her preference for white men. She really did not have to bash Asian men to justify herself for dating white men.

Karen: "Again, these are my personal experiences - actual events that you cannot contest... This is my last comment on Libertarian Man of Mystery's blog."

As anyone can read from Karen's own comments, Karen has somewhat limited, superficial "personal experiences" with Asian communities and Asian men. I certainly have much to say to constest her version of "actual events". Then again, since Karen had to have her last words before running away, she will not be reading any of this, and I do not see a point in wasting my time responding to her.

Karen had said enough for all of us to infer what kind of person she is. I am sure anyone who have read Karen's comments and mine would agree that reasons and sanity are on my side.

My last comments on this matter are a quote from my previous message:
"Here is something I do not quite understand with Asian women who prefer White men. Do they really have to attack, demonize and vilify Asian men? As an Asian man, I prefer White and Latin women first. However, I am not going to sink to the level to say that I date other women because there is something wrong with Asian women or because Asian women are at fault. Unfortunately, Asian women who prefer White men seem to always have to resort to blaming and attacking Asian men in order to justify themselves. Is that necessary or compulsory?"

[Jon]

I find Karen's comments completely biased and judgmental. She claims that ALL Asian men have the same demands.

There are 2 types of Asian women. One is the cool type, the one who's comfortable with her own identity. And then, there's Karen: the example of the Asian woman who's "that type", yeah you guessed it right: insecure, white lover, no identity so she wants to substitute it with some white male image, thinks Asian males are goofs, and is completely engrossed in her own world of whiteness. Knows she'll never be white, but pretends to be white and WANTS to be white. Heck, why would you want to be anything but yourself? Only losers aren't happy with what God gave them, and want to be something else they aren't.

I have no respect for, and despise this type of Asian girl. Asian girls who know their own cultural identity, and don't have inferiority complexes, have all my respect.