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March 10, 2005



There is a large section of males who do not see women of Asian ancestory as being other than white.


First of all, Asian women are not a monolithic group. There are Japanese women, Chinese women from the mainland, Chinese women from Taiwan, Chinese women from Singapore, Korean women, Vietnamese women, Thai women, Philippino women, … These women all come from different cultures and have somewhat different attitudes.

Before I got married I had several white girl friends, a Vietnamese girl friend and I married a Chinese women from Taiwan. It is true that some Asian women prefer white boy friends/husbands, but it is mainly because of stereotypes of how Asian men treat their girl friends/wives. To these Asian women the stereotype is that white men treat their girl friend/wife as more of an equal partner, while Asian men treat their girl friend/wife as more subservient to them. In some Asian societies it is also considered acceptable for men to have mistresses, and many successful men do. Of course many successful white men here have mistresses too, it’s just not considered as acceptable, and the wife can seek a divorce here.

The Asian women I dated, while they all wanted careers, wanted to get married too. The white women I dated wanted to wait until they were older before seriously thinking about marriage. Now this is a small sample, and probably highly biased.

The company I work at now has many Indian software engineers, mostly male. The last few years there has been a reverse migration of software engineers back to India, because relative to the cost of living, a software engineer’s salary in India is much higher than in the US. It is almost exclusively single male engineers that are going back to India. There are no women software engineers that have gone back. I asked one of the married engineers why he had not gone back. He said he wanted to, but his wife would not stand for it. Women have more opportunities and freedom in the US than they do in India. He said it is almost impossible for a married Indian engineer to persuade his wife to go back to India, even though on a software engineer’s salary in India they could afford to have servants that would do all the housework.


I noted in my last post that Asian women who like white men often have a preference for men who are educated, introverted, and have stable careers (often in IT). White women don't have a preference for this type of man.

WTF! Really, let me state that again. WTF! The only women that don't want men who are educated, introverted, and have stable careers are women that are a) uneducated, b) wildly unpredictable and c) poor.

While obviously my points a, b and c are generalizations, your comment about white women was the most ignorant I've seen in ages.


I'm educated, introverted and have a stable career, but no women have come calling. :( Actually the reason I heard Asian women were desired by men of other ethnicities was because they are, um, more "unusual" sexually. Admittedly this came from a white girl with several Asian roommates and they all dated black men, but it's all I've heard.


Actually the reason I heard Asian women were desired by men of other ethnicities was because they are, um, more "unusual" sexually. Admittedly this came from a white girl with several Asian roommates and they all dated black men, but it's all I've heard.

That's more of a myth, I would say.

a) One of my best friends lived in South Korea for a few years. She said foreign men went ga-ga over the Korean girls for a while, but soon found they were lousy in the sack. They just lie there because it isn't ladylike to enjoy sex or to want it. I wouldn't consider that sexually "unusual" in a desirable way.

b) More than half of my Asian girlfriends/acquaintances are... well, inexperienced, shy, and sometimes downright virginal. Is that unusual in a desirable way?

c) Men that I've talked to have admitted they like Asian girls because i) they look younger than their real age, ii) they perceive them as being demure, chaste, and obedient, iii) the skin, hair, and features are exotic. I would credit these perceptions as being a stronger cause of the sexual desirability of Asian women (if any, and beyond the basic fact that they are women.)

Finally, Asian women *tend* to be shorter and smaller-framed. Very recognizably female (or non-male, at least.) I'd say that most heterosexual men are attracted to someone who is recognizably female over someone who is of ambiguous appearance.)


This is all very amusing. I'm an Asian-American woman, and I agree with both mikeca and Christina. I can see how Asian women prefer white men over Asian men (I do not include Asian-American men under the heading "Asian") because they'd be treated as equal partners in the relationship. And it's bizarre, not to mention downright wrong, to say that white women don't want educated men who have stable careers. Almost all women want that.

As far as being unusual sexually ... sigh. Yet another misguided and potentially damaging Western myth. Not all of us want to walk on your backs with our dainty (ha!) feet.


I am attracted to Asian women because even the average to plain looking women look very good. With white women there are the complete babes who are totally self absorbed - the mediocre ones who, if you spend enough time with, can seem very special and make a fine mate, the nut cases and the ... well... to be blunt, fat and/or ugly ones. Very very rare indeed are the total babes who are also excellent people.

That being said, many asian women (Chinese in particular but most others) will cut your throat as soon as look at you should 'bumps' in the road (say job status - financial troubles, etc) occur.

Of course all of the above is limited to my vast adventures with women from all over the globe... no ... really, I'm serious.


Re: White women don't want Asian men.

First of all, your statistic about 20% of Asian women preferring white men is wrong. An actual survey was done a couple of years ago of Asian-American women and it concluded that 3% of Asian-American prefer white men, 20 something percent don't care, and the vast majority prefer Asian men.

Also, I'm an Asian man that studied abroad in Europe, and every Asian guy that was like 5'8" and above had a cult-like following of European women. I don't know what it is. But the European women were clamoring over Asian men when I was there, including myself. And there were some BEAUTIES among them. They blow the typical slutty-looking American woman away with their wardrobe and style: very very sexy in a classy way.


Kenny - the 20% figure was a guesstimate, not a statistic. It says so in the same sentence.

Good for you that the European BEAUTIES adore you. My Asian male friends and acquaintances all come in at around 5'5 or 5'6 - too short for the cult following you describe. Their heights are fairly representative of Asian men - I've only met one Asian man who topped 6 feet.

I asked one of my buddies why he's never dated a white woman. He said they just aren't interested... he's too short. So if you're saying Asian men of above-average height do well in Europe... That's not something that helps the bulk of Asian men - those with average or shorter height.

Did you mean to say that the typical American woman is slutty-looking? Or were you referring to *some* American women that look slutty? The first would be a very unkind generalization.

Libertarian Man of Mystery

The study cited above by Kenny, if true, is eerily similar to my 20% guess, so long as we make the assumption that the majority of the 20% who said they don't care about race actually preferred white men but they didn't say that because they thought it was politically incorrect to prefer white men.

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