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March 10, 2005



i am an asian female dating a white male. people are right when they say that i may be submissive ect... i do his laundry or cook for him... but i definately speak up when is needed. and as for him, he has told me that all his white girlfriends are spoiled and don't appreciate him as i do. and that is most likely due to the asian male stereotype i have developed where they are too dominating and take us forgranted. i guess it all comes down to appreciation.


I think some of the asian women that dates white guys have the same stereotype for asian males like kathy. It is because of hollywood that makes asian males look bad. Just like the movie joy luck club. It shows all the asian male treating their wife bad and all they care is having a son. So that's why all the asian girl in the movie marry white guys. I didn't watch the whole movie because I was pretty mad about it but my friend told me that at the end, the white husband cheated on the asian wife but the asian wife still stay with him. So what does that show? That really makes the asian female look bad. I'm an asian male and movies like this really hurts all of us. And one more thing. For any asian people that date white people, do they ever think what will their children will become? Will they become more asian or more white?


Andy, in the Joy Luck Club BOOK (which the movie is based on), the woman whose white husband cheats on her doesn't stay with him. People of Asian descent are underrepresented in the media/entertainment industry, so I will agree that any depiction leaves an impression.

Does it matter if a child looks more Asian or more white? Does it matter if the child's attitudes and values are more Asian or more Westernized? Is a white person obligated to produce white offspring only? As an Asian woman am I obligated to have children with Asian men only? No, no, no, and no. Anyone, white or non-white, who would treat a bi-racial child as inferior to an all-white or all-Asian child certainly makes themselves look very, very bad.


I would have to agree with some comments made earlier. I have noticed that not only some of the wealthiest white men date/marry Asian women, but they can be the best looking. I am not sure what the quality is, but white men respect and value Asian women more than a White women of similar personality.


I am Chinese American and I would say 80-90% of all women that I have been with have been white. But I date all kinds of women and because of my location, most girls happen to be white. One can not go around and pick and choose races these days IMO.

With that said, there are some Asian American women who are in the same situation that I am in, where the men she meets happen to be white. However, there are a substantial number of Asian women who simply have racial issues of self denial. These women grew up in America where the ideal man is white or black and the stereotypes that the media imposes on us Asian men doesn't help much either, so many of them disconnect from their roots on purpose to basically become "white".

I've known some of these Asian girls myself and I can't help but to feel sorry for them because they will forever have this racial complex in them, no matter how white she is trying to become.


I'm one of those self-deniers that you mention, Andy. I "disconnected" from my roots partially because I live in a white-dominated country where sometimes it was easier to take what was readily available (making friends with someone who was white, eating "white people food") than to search specifically for a traditional Chinese equivalent (a traditional-Chinese friend, Chinese food.)

I have also embraced "white" North American culture because I feel it has more to offer me. My Chinese parents and their Chinese friends preached (and pressured their children for) hard work, materialism, and conformity above all else. I needed to be quiet and ladylike, get my PhD in a technical field, obey my parents' wishes, and get married while in my early/mid 20s to a Chinese doctor/lawyer/highly-paid I.T. professional.

The white friends of my parents, my white friends (and their parents) and the white North American media/entertainment industry (which the Asian N-A media/ent industry does not rival) encouraged different things. Being outspoken and assertive was better tolerated and sometimes admired. Not having a doctorate in a technical field wasn't seen as being a serious character flaw. Flouting parental authority was glamourized. :) Being single was a little more acceptable - especially if you had fun doing it. And it was normal to marry someone for love (versus always for prestige, money, and what the neighbours think.)

So I chose to feel like an outsider to my ethnic heritage but to enjoy the life I live... Versus being part of my ethnic heritage but disliking the life I live. It was a little more complicated than being convinced by the media that white/black men are simply superior to asian men. It was my first hand experience that white North American attitudes encouraged me to be more true to myself and equal to any man versus Chinese North American attitudes encouraging me to conform and be regarded as inferior to a man.


Save the bullshit..
The reason asian women like white men is the same reason why white women like black men.Honestly who would see a black male attractive, no one with a clean mind. It's all about sex my friends and it's normal because as humans we can control everything sexually so it's no longer a fear to have a interracial baby just take the pill. From the porns I have seen and from what my asian female friends tell me asian men are hung like 6 year old white boys. White men are 9.9 times out of 10 taller, broader, and unique*(as in white guys don't all have black hair with black/brown eyes they all are different physically) Plus white guys now a days not only work but are also house husbands.
-Peace out


It's not bullshit that a woman might appreciate a man who "now a days not only work but are also house husbands." If no asian men are interested in doing this, they're certainly lacking a "feature" compared to men who will.

I've befriended and dated very attractive black men. Gorgeous just to look at, with their clothes on. I've never seen the penis of an asian man or a six year-old white boy, so I can't say that first-hand experience has affected my choice in dating partners. Frankly, if the girls you know are only interested in the size of a man's penis, I don't consider them especially worthwhile companions.

Finally, the reasons you think are behind people's behaviour are not always the real reasons. Unless you have tried being an asian female, don't presume that my experiences being one are "bullshit" or untrue.


Some of the things being said here are absolutely ridiculous. First of all, WHITE is not a universal term applied to anyone with light skin describing their varying cultures, locations and viewpoints, just like the term ASIAN does not describe all of the various people from Asian countries. That being said,I am an American, not Asian-American as some people want to call me. I was born and raised in the U.S. so I am an American. My grandparents are Japanese, when they became citizens in the U.S. they were actual Asian-Americans. When in Japan with friends I am amazed at how Japanese men love fair haired American women with blue eyes and are tall. It is exotic to them. I have dated men of all races. All people are humans and they are all very different. People of all races posess varying traits and skincolor does not determine culture. I sickens me to hear people make ridiculous statements such as "He is trying to be black" Black isn't a culture, it is a color. Your culture is that of where you live and grow. ANyway, to the topic, I want to date people that want to date ME, not a race. Liking soemone because of race is as awful as disliking someone for it. I have had many men tell me that Asian women are supposed to be smaller on the inside so they are more sexually pleasing, but I wouldn't want to date anyone interested in that nonsense ( also,it isn't true). I always avoid men that I discover have had other girlfriends of Asian descent, I won't date them becuase they are probably Asian chasers. Most women find men wanting to date women of Asian background exclusively a disgusting breed. Whatever happened to liking people for themselves?

Michael Lee

Actually I have a web site that just deals with the topic of Asian male sexuality and masculinity.

As as someone who lives in Europe, I can say Asian males enjoy the same "fetish" attention from gorgeous Europeans females as many Asian women enjoy in the U.S.

It's almost surreal when you often have Dutch blondes and French brunettes throwing themselves at your solely because you're Asian, not knowing anything about you.

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